Approaching emotionally evocative situations counteractively means approaching them with awareness and deliberateness instead of responding reactively in service of security and control. From an ERT perspective, this represents a healthier way to respond to the arising of emotions in one’s life.

WHAT DOES IT MEAN TO RESPOND COUNTERACTIVELY?

When we respond counteractively to the arising of emotions, we notice the pulls of security and the urge to exert control over our emotions, but instead find the courage and willingness to approach this situation with a balance of motivations and a willingness to stick with our emotions. Doing so allows us to see the full spectrum of what we are feeling clearly rather than cloudy, where we are only feel anxiety or don’t know what we feel at all. In ERT we will be working with taking counter-actions. Taking counter-action refers to making room for the pulls of both security and reward and acting in an appropriate and effective way based on the situation and one’s values.

The first step in taking a counteractive approach is attention regulation. Attention regulation refers to two skills: orienting and allowing.

ORIENTING: NOTICING &
BECOMING AWARE OF OUR EXPERIENCE

In session 1 you were introduced to the skill of orienting. Experiences refer to our thoughts, feelings, emotions, bodily sensations, and so on. Sometimes our experiences can be very unpleasant but the first step in responding counteractively is becoming aware of our experiences, that is, deliberately focusing whatever thoughts, feelings, emotions, and that are present, just as they are in the here-and-now.

ALLOWING: HARNESSING COURAGE TO FACE ALL ASPECTS OF OUR EXPERIENCE

Building upon the skill of awareness, allowing is the capacity to be fully present with whatever comes along without being judgmental or without pushing away. When we are able to approach life with allowance, we gain flexibility in that we are able to view the current situation from every angle rather than from a narrowed, security-first perspective. Allowing is not the same as wanting things to be a certain way. None of us want to feel anxious … just like none of us want a cavity in our tooth. Allowing is like welcoming and embracing our powerful emotions in the way we accept the news that we have a cavity. We do not have to like it, but we accept it just the same. Second, allowing is an action, not an attitude or an intention. Most of us approach life with the best intentions. However, intentions do not produce outcomes, actions produce outcomes. Allowing is about being “all in.” There is no way to just dip your toe in the water of allowing. Finally, allowing often comes when you are able to see your thoughts, feelings, memories and bodily sensations as events that do not define you or control your behavior.

THE COURAGE TO ALLOW EMOTIONAL EXPERIENCES

Courage is often defined as the ability to confront fear, pain, risk, danger, or uncertainty. Part of courage is choosing to have one’s fear, to have one’s pain, to acknowledge a risk or danger, to move ahead despite uncertainty. When we approach life with courage, we are first acknowledging the risks and dangers as well as the feelings that are evoked, and choosing to move on with our lives. When we are courageous, we open up to all that is around us, internally and externally. In acting with courage, we size up the risks and possible rewards and then, carefully and deliberately chose a course of action.